Owning an SUV...How sad is that?

Today, I was testing for the first time the new SUV from Peugeot, the 4007.Looks like this lot had been around for some time and ended up using every three-digit number under the sun, so they resort to a four-digit trend. We had the awkward 1007, and now this 4007.

The usual qwirkyness of the design, like someone ,somewhere has to prove a point, like cars have to look sharp and agressive even if they are ment to do mere schoolruns, clogged with every possible gizmos and electronic stuff you can think of,shaped like it was under attack of any Stephen King,s novel psichopath, basically to please Dart Vader or The Adams Family.

Four by fours used to be about off-road. You would have one, because you would often go out to the wild, or to the nearest mud clogged throughfare you could find. Or even, if you would live in a country where nice tarmac roads would end as soon as you left the main cities.

But nowadays, for some reason, this cars seem to be associated with a far different customer. People from "the countryside", will buy instead nice Sallons and Station wagons with leather seats to forget about the cows and the tractors leaving blocks of mud behind . And you cant no longer do any off-road activities in the UK. Unless you seek for a quarry.

This leaves only a few customers interested in this type of vehicle. The school mum, that MUST have an SUV to protect herself while in a collision because of her lack of skills ( This car is very huge, you see?) , or because she was text messaging a friend and ended up parked over the railings, running the lollypop lady in the process.

Or the dodgy company director, that must project an image of strenght driving a dogs b******s of a car. Watching a X5 going by, is the XXI Century equivalent of Al Capone´s Chrislers and Fords. We shouldn´t mess with them.

And the Guy-that-wish-he-was-in-America! ( GtwhwiA) The GtwhwiA, drives his SUV or worst, his Pick Up truck in the middle of Telford, thinking he is in Santa Monica Boulevard surronded by palm trees. He has grown up watching those dodgy shows where some dumb low lives with square pattern shirts drive their Dodges and Fords about, with lots of chrome, getting p***ed in the local saloon and starting a fight whitout even dropping their cowboy hat. And listening all the time to cheesy country music.

So , the GtwhwiA, drives his Hilux or Mitsubishi, thinking that at any moment some ladies with a cowboy hat will come out of the "Red Lion" and cheer him up. In a road full of Gatsos , semi-detached and grey sky. For some reason, the GtwhwiA, shifts himself about in a two-ton lump , having trouble to park and to see other road users rather than him and his ego, moaning about the high insurance group, high tax, high tolls and high comsuption. Some would give the excuse of " need to tow a caravan" to justify their lack of good taste.

Modern SUVs are as fit to off-road use, as an ice cream van. I cant think of a single reason why should I endeavour through a desert road or area, with a computer on wheels. Worse still, why would I buy a Jacked-up Station wagon with large tires ? What do you think of the Audi Q7? Or the Qasqai? Oh, pleeease!

Buy a decent car instead. Your family your back and your bones will thank you imenssfully. And your image. And your wallet. If you dont live in a free country where you can use your SUV as you see fit,where you can wade into rivers and rev up hills just by the feel of it, or if you do not intend going in an expedition to Libia,buy a nice car. You think people would pay any more respect to you if you are aboard an SUV? Think again. And do some growing up in the process.

By the way: Dont bother with the 4007. Just buy a 307 SW and jack it up. It ends up the same...